I work down at the pizza pit
and I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm five foot three and overweightI'm a sci-fi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go check out my space'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
(Chorus)
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I can have a three way chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler onlineI get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my MacIn real life, the only time I've ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose ParadeBut, oh, online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that will blow your mind
(Repeat Chorus)
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I can have a three way chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler onlineWhen you got my kind of stats, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Everytime I log inOnline I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
And even on a slow day
I can have a three way chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
Hey, I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
Song Discussions is protected by U.S. Patent 9401941. Other patents pending.
